Ernest Ortiz Writes Now

My chaotic brain needs a place to stay. Author of The Package trilogy.

When I used to work and had to go out of town I’d get a motel room, call Domino’s Pizza from the number printed on the motel key, pick up the pizza, and turn on the TV. Usually, I’ll choose the Food Channel to watch endless episodes of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives or Forensic Files on HLN. It’s a great way to enjoy myself after a long day of driving and investigating.

Two weekends ago, my family and I went to Sacramento for a friend’s kid’s birthday party at an indoor playground. Before we arrived at the birthday party we checked into a nice hotel and rested after a long two hour plus drive. The only time we turned on the TV was watching Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. I wanted to watch Forensic Files, but didn’t want to risk having uncensored footages of dead people scaring my children.

Whenever my wife and I have some alone time together at home or in a hotel room we would watch either of those two channels. It’s nice that we have that in common, among other things. I also leave Forensic Files on whenever I’m alone to write. Although hearing the word, diatoms, a bunch of times does get distracting. When my children get older and more mature I’ll introduce the show to them.

Maybe they’ll work in forensics. Hopefully, they won’t learn the wrong lesson of not getting caught.

#children #family #forensicfiles #tv

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In a previous post, I talked about what’s on my Kobo Clara HD on What’s On My Kobo Reader?. I also have a Kindle Paperwhite that I bought used on eBay because I have so many books I haven’t read yet. I’m not going to talk about the recent Kindle controversy so here’s a link from Reader’s Digest.

Right now, I’m not reading on my Kindle. Frankly, I bought so many cheap $0.99 books I have no interest in reading them anymore. I have a better collection of books on my Kobo Clara HD, Apple Books, and in my bookshelf.

But the last books I’ve read are the Mike Hammer Collection Volumes 1 and 2. I like them and maybe I’ll read Volumes 3 and 4 when I have the chance. I’ll let you know.

#reading #Amazon #books #ebooks #Kindle #ReadersDigest

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My replacement cold brew maker finally came. It’s the same brand and model as the last one I broke a few days earlier. See Broke My Favorite Cold Brew Maker. It’s so new, shiny, and not stained by years of use.

What was once three cold brew makers, became two, now turned to three again. Like the Triforces of Courage, Power, and Wisdom combined. The One Who Was, the One Who Is, and the One Who Will Be. It’s the beginning, middle, and end of the story. The Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. Okay, you get the idea.

The important thing is my coffee supply won’t run out any time soon. Peace is achieved and the world won’t end, for now.

#coffee #balance #coldbrew #universe

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A California man was arrested at 6:17 a.m. at his Sacramento home on Monday by the FBI, along with deputies from the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Office, on suspicion of stealing honey bear bottles from an Alabama factory, slapping them with Starbucks logos, and selling them on the dark web to upper-middle class women in exchange for Bitcoin.

Renaldo Gonzales, 43, under the moniker lonelystarbucksbearforu17, managed to illegally earn, before his arrest, about $100,000 from frustrated women who couldn’t get their hands on the popular and limited supply item. Investigators managed to locate several of Gonzales’ victims for interview. There were mixed reactions after being notified of his arrest.

Ali Y. said, “I’m glad the bastard got caught. Not only he stole my money, he also stole my sense of security and my trust in people on the dark web.”

“I oppose his arrest. He was providing a product that Starbucks failed to do. Who cares if he stole them from a factory. It’s only Alabama,” said Yvonne G.

“Free Renaldo Gonzales,” said Gina V, “F*** Ice!”

Gonzales is expected to appear at a federal court for arraignment on Friday on charges of burglary, grand larceny, and selling stolen goods across state lines. The FBI will give out an official statement later today.

#news #parody #bearbottle #Bitcoin #darkweb #FBI #honey #Starbucks

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The worst part of cooking is doing that while watching your children. Once again, the evils of multitasking rears its ugly head. While moving a cutting board filled with cooked chicken breasts I knocked my cold brew maker off the counter.

My five cup cold brew maker, the one my wife bought for me, broke into big and smaller pieces. I cursed at myself for being this careless. Luckily, me and my kids didn’t get hurt. I managed to pick up the pieces and vacuum the floor.

During cleaning, my wife bought another cold brew maker for me from Amazon. Which is nice, I love her. I still have two newer and larger cold brew makers, but I still mourn for my old one. I’ve drank from that maker and brought it to fellowships for years.

Well, thank you for your service, five cup cold brew maker. I’ll see if this new one, that’s coming, can fill in your shoes.

#coffee #coldbrew #accident

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As a teen, I’d leave the TV on while writing, studying, and sleeping. It’s a terrible habit and has stuck with me since. Instead of TV, now it’s YouTube. But at least this habit has lessened throughout the years.

I can write without distractions for at least fifteen minutes. Then I’ll watch something on YouTube for a few minutes. I’ll write again and repeat the process. It’s the best system for me.

How about you? Is there some bad habit you do whenever you write? Let me know.

#writing #habit #tv #YouTube

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Last weekend was a bit stressful as both my kids threw up all over the couch cushions, bathroom floor, and on me. They’re okay now, thank God. While they got it out of their system they had to eat again so they don’t go hungry. Always be super careful of what ingredients are in your food before feeding your children.

#children #food #ingredients #sick #stayathomedad #vomit

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I like to watch sports every now and then, but I don’t watch sports news. Then again, I don’t read much news. Anyway, I’ve been interested in the Dianna Russini and Mike Vrabel drama for the past few days. Not because I like drama but how a private investigator played a key role in it.

I’ll spare you the details of the fiasco. You can look them here on The Shadow League link. The following couple pictures I’ll talk about next come from the TMZ Sports Page link. The photos were taken from an Arizona resort.

The first picture you see is Russini and Vrabel standing in front of each other, on top of some wooden patio, with their hands forward and interlocking fingers. Notice how the photo is a little grainy, but not too much that you can still tell who they are by their faces. That usually means the PI was at a distance where the camera’s optical zoom was at its limit before picture quality fades.

The second photo you see is Russini and Vrabel (wearing swim trunks and bathing suit, respectively) lying on the pool. Notice the picture quality is better than the first. The PI must have been pretty close to them. Either the PI was next to the pool or still outside the resort where anyone can see in.

Keep in mind, Russini and Vrabel both have spouses. And while there’s no kissing or sexual activity it still doesn’t look good for the two. And it’s more than likely that Russini’s husband and Shake Shack senior manager, Kevin Goldschmidt, hired the private investigator.

As a former private investigator with thirteen years of surveillance work (mostly workers comp) I’m still amazed on the quality of the photos and the work done by the PI in charge of the infidelity case. Those two still shots are more than likely taken from whatever video the PI recorded. Video evidence is often more powerful than photos when it comes to infidelity and workers comp cases. If a photo is worth a thousand words, a video is at least three times that, if not more.

I guess there are two lessons in all of this: 1) there will never be a shortage of cheaters, which means more PI work, and 2) in the long run, cheaters never prosper. Don’t be like Russini and Vrabel. You never know who’s watching.

#cheating #drama #fiasco #infidelity #photo #pi #privateinvestigator #Russini #sports #video #Vrabel

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I recently watched the seventh season, second episode of Star Trek: DS9, Shadows and Symbols. The character Benny Russell (played by Avery Brooks) is in a psychiatric room writing his story on the walls. He does this because the doctors refuse to give him paper.

A psychiatrist, Dr. Wykoff (played by Casey Biggs) offers Benny a paint roller to erase his writings so he can be “cured” of his delusions. I won’t spoil any more so go watch. After watching that episode it gave me an idea.

Inside my home I have blue, white, and yellow walls. What color wall would I choose? Or would I write on all of them? Unfortunately, white and yellow walls are too bright even in low lighting. Blue walls are easier on my eyes and still bright enough when there’s not enough light.

However, all of this doesn’t matter. The real question is: how long can my kids and I write on the walls before my wife goes berserk and makes me clean and repaint them?

#writing #blue #ds9 #startrek #walls #white #yellow

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My older son loves looking at family photos and videos on my phone. Of course I’m there supervising his time. My wife and I also limit his TV time to one hour a day. There’s always the temptation of giving our son our phones just to calm him down so we try not to do that.

As an experiment my wife bought a custom family photo book from Shutterfly to see if he’ll look at the photos there instead on my phone. It was a failure. But a good thing about it is my younger son loves it. I see him always looking towards the photo book and gets sad if we don’t sit and look at it.

While not ideal it sure beats letting them play mindless games and looking at Cocomelon videos. If you have the chance buy a photo book and include that in your children’s collection of books to look at. Hopefully it gets used well.

#children #phone #photobook #pictures #videos

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